I shall try to put something on this blog much more often than I have been. I promise ! It won’t be all poetry. I started out wanting it to be a way to share my writings with my friends, but I think very few of them are really interested.
I want to do more sharing of my heart, my situation, where I am in my thought life, as well as my poetic life. I confess that the ravages of old age are getting me down and I have not been feeling well at all lately. I was told in January of this year that I have kidney disease and it is quite far along. I have managed to improve my kidney function by strictly changing my diet, but still, it is a worry.
My liver disease is well controlled, but now it is arthritis in my hips as well as back, and so I am in almost constant pain. I want to walk and do some minimal exercise, but I find it only causes extreme breathlessness. I tell you this not to whine, but just to set the scene, so to speak.
I had a friend who died last year of a brain tumor. While being treated for that, over the course of a few years, she kept up a blog to let her friends know how she was doing. I think I’ll do the same. Instead of feeling guilty for not communicating with friends, I shall direct them to my blog and thus tell everyone at once. Not that I suffer anything life threatening, not at all ! At least not yet.
For the last 2 or 3 years, for some reason which I cannot explain, a lot of the poetry I’ve written has to do with old age, death, or dying. At first I didn’t even realize I was writing in that vein, and so I wonder why. Perhaps because at my age you lose friends to death and death seems to creep closer.
Older people learn that very soon
dear friends depart for unknown lands
while they remain behind.
Youth feel the pain of loss
but it is not the same.
When you grow old
you see them falling,
one by one as in a
terrible dream—the war of bodies
making their last stands against
the encroachment of the years.
There is no hope of winning,
no possibility of a truce with death.
Only loss after loss after loss.
And it is what it is what it is.
And, what it is is almost the end of March, 2017. Unbelievable, no?