June 3

Well, I got the test results from the neurosurgeon on Wednesday. The good news is I don’t require another surgery. The bad news is that I got no information other than that from him. Once a surgeon decided that he isn’t going to get to do a surgery on you, he loses interest. He seemed in a big hurry and I didn’t get to question him further.
He gave me referrals to an orthopedic Dr. and to pain management. I’ll have to see the orthopedist first. What I really want is answers as to where the pain is coming from and what is causing it. I suppose I’ll have to wait more weeks to see that Dr. It is a circle of pain and despair, trying to get the help you need from the medical system. I just thank God I have good insurance. If it wasn’t for that, I’d be unable to afford all these tests and appointments.
So I don’t have more to say than that. The pain in my upper back gets worse….pain in the SI joint and hip lessen if I rest a lot.
Just trying to keep going and not get down and discouraged.
The poem today kind of says how I feel about my body….I’d be glad to leave it behind.


You have been so long a part of me,
but now you draw away.

You refuse to do the things I enjoy,
sulking like a dying love.

I feel I’m losing you.
Soon we shall part—oh yes!

You see, I can live without you,
but you cannot live without me.

I shall be set free from
the prison of your limitations.

For many years you served me well, but
now you offer restrictions and excuses.

So you must be less important now.
My spirit will take me the rest of the way.


One thought on “June 3

  1. Dear Carolyn, Thanks so much for the update on your health – good news about no surgery. It is too bad that doctors are often so poor at communicating. Over the years I have found women better than men at doing that, and taking time with me. Thanks also for the thoughtful poem. God bless, Elsie


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